jessm78 (jessm78) wrote,

Sorry, everyone...

...I guess I lied when I said I'd stay away from the computer when I was PMSing.  If you're in the mood to read something crazy then by all means follow the cut.  But let me preface it by saying I'm not usually this crazy - only once a month for a few days or so, a curse handed down from my mother.  I just really need to get this off my chest...

First, I hate this weather.  I really hate it.  I'm glad it's not snowing but I hate when it's less than 30 degrees F.  It makes my asthma crazy much of the time.  I know you guys in the midwest and Great Lakes are getting it worse than we are, and I pray for you, but I guess I am a wimp as far as cold weather goes.  We haven't had it this cold here in New York for at least 2 years.  We MAY actually crack 30 F on Thursday but I doubt the heatwave will stay.

Second, I have this friend in Indiana who for some reason is giving me the cold shoulder.  She had a lot of personal things going on in her life a year ago and she wrote me about 5 months later apologizing and not long after that she was back online.  She's been online ever since and we would chat (in email).  The last time I heard from her was the beginning of December.  I wished her a Merry Christmas and didn't hear anything.  I emailed her about 3 weeks ago or so and still didn't get a reply.  I know she's online though because I keep getting notifications about new fanfics she's posting.  I even reviewed several of them and she didn't say a word (and back when she was talking to me she would usually reply).  I can't understand what I did to make her ignore me.  It just bugs me that she can write her stories and post them, but can't reply to my emails.  I guess it isn't worth having her for a friend.

Third, I am seriously thinking of leaving Gateworld, or only spending my time in the Appreciation for Amanda Project thread I created.  I don't think I will spend much time on either - will stop posting my stories there probably and may only read a few that friends wrote.  I am just sick and tired of getting picked on for my shipping preference.  To anyone reading who ships differently and hates S/D:

Do you know how it feels to have people constantly at your throat telling you you have no reason to ship your couple because it doesn't make sense and "isn't canon"?

Do you know how it feels to be one of only like three people on the site who ships S/D (and posts in a thread with a paltry 3-star rating) or isn't hostile to it and having other shippers (especially those of one particular pairing - if you've read my LJ before you probably know what it is) gloating to you that they are getting what they want and you aren't?

Do you know how it feels to have to endure excuse after excuse why Daniel acts a certain way toward Sam, or doesn't interact with her at all and it being due to him changing because he is in a relationship with someone else?

Do you know how it feels to endure people being hostile even to the friendship aspect of it?

If you're saying "yes but  I don't let it bother me" well you're right... I know I shouldn't let it bother me.  As someone on Gateworld once told me, I shouldn't take shipping so seriously - it's not healthy...  I know that and I usually don't, or at least try not to, but I can't help it right now.  I'm PMSing pretty bad and this has been bugging me so I need to get it off my chest.  

So I am wondering if I should stop posting at Gateworld, except in that Amanda thread I made and in the S/D thread just to keep it up since hardly anyone posts in there.  I'm even unhappy sometimes in the Daniel/MS Thunk thread.  People sometimes rush to post S/D pics when they see me because they think "Oh the lone S/D shipper is here - better post a pic to make her happy."  I guess I shouldn't be that way, I guess they are trying to be nice and I appreciate that.  But I am the only S/D shipper on that thread most of the time.  If there are others they hardly visit - or they were converted to other ships so I'm all alone there.

*sigh* I am wasting so much energy on this... but again I had to get it off my chest.  If you made it this far, thanks for listening.  Again I'm not always like this, it's just the stupid PMS talking.

Tags: friends, life, shippers, stargate, weather, websites

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