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28 March 2007 @ 10:44 am
My friend again...  
I just got an email from that friend of mine I mentioned who'd gushed about her wedding in the birthday card she sent me.  She writes "long time no hear from you" and asks me if everything is okay because she hasn't heard from me in ages. She asks if I got the birthday card and if I'll be able to come to her wedding (which is in August I believe) because she hopes I can come. 

I haven't replied back to her.  I'm really torn because I feel guilty for basically ignoring her, and she is my friend (well, she WAS my friend anyway), but I'm still pretty hurt over how she's acted.  I mean, I'd contacted her quite a few times over the past year but I didn't hear back from her, only once when she sent me one of those forwarded emails (which she'd sent to everyone on her list).  I just didn't think she wanted to bother.  I thought it was pretty insensitive of her to write what she did in my birthday card, especially about bringing someone special to the wedding when I don't have anyone.  I know she probably wasn't thinking about anything like that when she wrote it and I guess she didn't mean to hurt me, but it still bothered me. 

I'd like to reply to her and just let her know that I'm not too happy about what she's done.  I'm not quite sure what to say, though.  I don't want to make a fool out of myself, but I want to let her know I didn't appreciate it, not that I'm angry but that I'm disappointed, especially for not talking much to me.  And right  now I don't want to go to the wedding if I don't have anyone to go with me.  I can't deal with going to these things alone.

If anyone has any advice I really appreciate it.  We've been friends for almost 11 years now and I don't expect that we'll be very close anymore, as she seems wrapped up in her fiance, but I'd still like to be on good terms with her.
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Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
 
Jenniferxariesgirl78x on March 28th, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC)
*super duper hugs* Jessie, I don't know what to say honestly. I sympathize, but that was rotten for her to act that way.

I had a friend be like that to me a long time ago, we were best friends and then she moved. On the last day I saw her her last words to me were "Well I guess you won't have anyone around to defend you anymore." Needless to say I held a grudge against her a long long time.

She wrote me on Myspace, asking a bunch of stuff, the memory of that comment still in my brain, I debated not writing her back at all. I finally gave up and did, and not heard a word back.

When you try to extend the olive branch to someone and they slap it away as our so-called "Friends" did, they weren't really friends after all.

*hugs again*
jessm78: kissesjessm78 on March 29th, 2007 08:51 am (UTC)
Aw thanks for the hugs Jen *hugs back* I'm sorry your friend treated you that way, too. That was pretty mean what she said to you. I had a friend like that, she had been my best friend when we were kids. Then her parents got divorced and I guess it really affected her badly because she started acting up and decided to move to Florida with her dad. She did and then I didn't hear from her anymore except for one time when my mom made me write to her. A couple of years later she and her brother started coming up to visit in the summers and we'd have fun again... we weren't quite as close as we'd been before but we still had fun together. Then she got a boyfriend and started ignoring me, had a baby, got separated from the guy, got married again, etc. etc. I think she got messed up again when her dad died too. But I had a grudge against her for a long time also. It may not have been right but I felt hurt the way she acted toward me. I haven't talked to her in more than 10 years, it's like she doesn't exist anymore. It doesn't bother me too much now - we have our own lives but it's still a shame.

Anyway, my mom told me she thought my friend from school was a bit insensitive. She said the same thing you did - doesn't sound like she was much of a friend at all. I might just give her a quick reply to let her know I got the b-day card and that's it. I'll have to think about it, but I'm not in a real hurry.

Thanks again for the hugs :) *hugs back to you*

p.s. love the icon! :D
Jenniferxariesgirl78x on March 30th, 2007 12:53 am (UTC)
Hey you're welcome on the huggles. People who don't like us or miss the chance to be friends with us, it's their loss.

'Cause we be super cool chicas, see :)

I always got your back on stuff, don't ever forget that.

And thanks on diggin' the icon, I loved it the first day I laid eyes on it. :)
jessm78jessm78 on April 3rd, 2007 01:54 pm (UTC)
Aw thanks hon :D Yeah you are totally right about that!
vixen_logic: b&w vixenvixen_logic on March 29th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
Maybe send her a short email where you mention that you appreciate her invitation but sadly can't make it (if you don't want to go) because of other plans. If she wants an explanation, politely give her one. Something how you weren't happy with how rarely you two talk to each other despite being friends for so many years etc.

Despite everything, I think it was nice of her to invite you to what is a very important day for her. She probably didn't choose the best way to do it....but that's what lack of frequent communication usually does.....
jessm78jessm78 on April 3rd, 2007 01:56 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice. :) *hugs*

I think I may just do that. I can't think of anything better. I agree, I do think it was nice of her to invite me, but I wasn't happy with the way she did it.