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16 May 2007 @ 10:28 am
I hate hurting people...  
I check my email as soon as I get into work, and sat there, blinking at the computer screen.  My friend, the one I mentioned whom I'd known since college and hurt me when she disguised a wedding invitation as a birthday card, had actually replied to my email.  The one I sent her more than a month ago letting her know I thought what she did was a bit insensitive.  I wasn't shocked, but I really was not expecting this since she hardly ever keeps in touch anyway.

I'm still feeling angry but I'm also feeling bad because I don't like to hurt anyone.  She said she didn't know what to make of my email and asked me to tell her how she was being insensitive.  She said she thought I'd be happy for her that she was getting married and that I was invited.  She then said that "someone special" to invite with me could be my mom or dad or a cousin or friend. 

She said she would still like me to come, "but maybe it'd be awkward since I upset you and I am upset also that you would think I'm a bad person."  Truth is I don't think she's a bad person, I just think she's a bad friend.  She never kept in touch with me after she started getting serious with her fiance'.  Then out of the blue she sends me a birthday card just because she feels she has to and it's an excuse to tell me about her wedding.  Maybe it was wrong to feel this way but I was hurt.

I'm trying to think of what I can say.  She asked me to be specific on how I thought she was insensitive, if it was because she was talking about herself in the card (the wedding) or because she asked me to bring someone special.  Again I don't want to attend her wedding if I don't have a date, and honestly how many people drag their mothers to weddings?  My mom (or dad) didn't even know her very well, so it's not like she's a dear friend of the family.

I'd hate to lose her as a friend, but I guess I've already lost her as a friend anyway, so I guess it shouldn't really matter much what I say.  I just don't like hurting people in general. 
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Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed