jessm78 (jessm78) wrote,

My curse with relationships

Something else to kill my con buzz...

I met this guy a few weeks ago. We chatted in email and whatnot and were planning to meet for the longest time, but then I got sick and had to schedule around my dr appointments. We finally met in person for the first time last Tuesday in a coffee shop. Now over the years I've dated I've met my fair share of creeps, but also some very nice guys with whom I felt I had chemistry. What happens? The nice guys decide they don't like me and drop me, while the creeps want to hang on to me.

Case in point: this guy. He seemed genuninely nice and sweet, and funny. We spent about 2 and half hours together in a coffee shop just talking about the usual stuff - our families, likes and dislikes, the placed we've traveled to, etc. I can usually tell when I feel a spark or other hints of chemistry for someone and I definitely felt it this time. When we left he told me to let him know if we could get together again the following week. I told him I was going away on the weekend (to the con) but my schedule looked good for this coming week so I'd let him know.

I emailed him after I got home on Sunday and said I'd check my schedule again. The other day I asked if he wanted to get together on Friday and have dinner. I just get an email this afternoon from him, telling me "Hey, another girl I'm seeing just told me she wants to try a committed relationship, so we're going to try that. Sorry, bad timing I guess. Good luck in your search and I'll keep you in mind if things don't work out."

So I guess I shouldn't feel bad because he's just proved to me what a loser he is, even though I really liked him. If he isn't lying through his teeth because he doesn't like me and wants to break it to me gently, then I don't know what he is doing. I've gotten that excuse before. I can tell when someone is lying. I feel like I want to ask him why he wasn't up front with me that he was seeing someone else at the same time, or why he even agreed to go out with me. But I guess there is no point.

The thing that depresses me so much about this is that I'm going to be 30 in a few short months and it seems that not having a relationship or being married by that age means something is wrong with me. My own parents got married when they were 24 (and that was a bit old back in 1970). It seems that guys are less likely to be interested in a girl who is still single at this age. I guess I am generalizing too much but it's how I feel.

I've been dating for quite a few years now. I had a boyfriend after I graduated high school but things didn't work out. I was very interested in this guy when I was in grad school but we didn't become more than friends (he'd had a bad relationship so I guess he was reluctant to pursue another one). My mom's hairdresser had a friend that was still single and she gave him my phone number. Before my accident this summer I'd talked to him a few times. We'd planned to get together but then I ended up in the hospital. He said he would wait a bit till I recovered and then would call me again. He never did. My mom has a friend in Georgia - who has a friend that knows a guy who lives quite close to me and also has trouble finding girls. My mom's friend's friend supposedly gave him my email address. It's been a couple of weeks and he never contacted me either. And as I said I meet people whom I think I really click with but they find something wrong with me and drop me. The guys that are creeps are the ones who are interested.

So I have this relationship curse that will never be broken. I don't like to be so negative but it really despresses me sometimes. I suppose there is no point to keep searching for someone if I've been doing it for all these years (at least 6 or 7 now).

Gosh I really need some chocolate now......
Tags: life

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