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07 November 2007 @ 12:10 pm
My curse with relationships  
Something else to kill my con buzz...

I met this guy a few weeks ago. We chatted in email and whatnot and were planning to meet for the longest time, but then I got sick and had to schedule around my dr appointments. We finally met in person for the first time last Tuesday in a coffee shop. Now over the years I've dated I've met my fair share of creeps, but also some very nice guys with whom I felt I had chemistry. What happens? The nice guys decide they don't like me and drop me, while the creeps want to hang on to me.

Case in point: this guy. He seemed genuninely nice and sweet, and funny. We spent about 2 and half hours together in a coffee shop just talking about the usual stuff - our families, likes and dislikes, the placed we've traveled to, etc. I can usually tell when I feel a spark or other hints of chemistry for someone and I definitely felt it this time. When we left he told me to let him know if we could get together again the following week. I told him I was going away on the weekend (to the con) but my schedule looked good for this coming week so I'd let him know.

I emailed him after I got home on Sunday and said I'd check my schedule again. The other day I asked if he wanted to get together on Friday and have dinner. I just get an email this afternoon from him, telling me "Hey, another girl I'm seeing just told me she wants to try a committed relationship, so we're going to try that. Sorry, bad timing I guess. Good luck in your search and I'll keep you in mind if things don't work out."

So I guess I shouldn't feel bad because he's just proved to me what a loser he is, even though I really liked him. If he isn't lying through his teeth because he doesn't like me and wants to break it to me gently, then I don't know what he is doing. I've gotten that excuse before. I can tell when someone is lying. I feel like I want to ask him why he wasn't up front with me that he was seeing someone else at the same time, or why he even agreed to go out with me. But I guess there is no point.

The thing that depresses me so much about this is that I'm going to be 30 in a few short months and it seems that not having a relationship or being married by that age means something is wrong with me. My own parents got married when they were 24 (and that was a bit old back in 1970). It seems that guys are less likely to be interested in a girl who is still single at this age. I guess I am generalizing too much but it's how I feel.

I've been dating for quite a few years now. I had a boyfriend after I graduated high school but things didn't work out. I was very interested in this guy when I was in grad school but we didn't become more than friends (he'd had a bad relationship so I guess he was reluctant to pursue another one). My mom's hairdresser had a friend that was still single and she gave him my phone number. Before my accident this summer I'd talked to him a few times. We'd planned to get together but then I ended up in the hospital. He said he would wait a bit till I recovered and then would call me again. He never did. My mom has a friend in Georgia - who has a friend that knows a guy who lives quite close to me and also has trouble finding girls. My mom's friend's friend supposedly gave him my email address. It's been a couple of weeks and he never contacted me either. And as I said I meet people whom I think I really click with but they find something wrong with me and drop me. The guys that are creeps are the ones who are interested.

So I have this relationship curse that will never be broken. I don't like to be so negative but it really despresses me sometimes. I suppose there is no point to keep searching for someone if I've been doing it for all these years (at least 6 or 7 now).

Gosh I really need some chocolate now......
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Christine (aka) Pineapple >^..^<: CSI:NYchris4short on November 7th, 2007 02:50 pm (UTC)
*shoves chocolate at you*

Oh my dear there is NOTHING wrong with you!! My two best friends here in town, Tammy and Angie, are 31 and 33 respectively, and I will be 27... dateless, boyfriendless, single and loving it. Tammy and I don't have boyfriends and Angie still has a fling with an old bf... life's never dull. For the first time in my life I have some awesome guy friends (some married, some single) and I just rely on GOD to bring me who He wants me to meet.

Would I love to go out and spend a evening with a guy? SURE! I have tried... failed... and here I am with my kitties, just laughing at all the things we can do since we are single. I don't have to think twice about leaving to go for a weekend, driving to Waco, spending 3 days in Austin. No one to ask, no one to report to. I pay my bills, I do my thing, and if in the future someone comes along for me (which I doubt will happen), I will be the best person I can be, I'll be the best partner for my mate.

In college I thought I would follow the track my parents did: meet at 21, merry at 22... or there abouts. Nothing happened and I wondered why not. It's not up to us to force the timing... and it will happen... stay strong in the singleness and in the sisterhood of single gals (SoSG)hehe!

*huggles and steals some chocolate back* I'm sorry this guy was a real jerk to email you that. The ass should have had the guts (and other parts) to tell you up front.
jessm78jessm78 on November 9th, 2007 10:38 am (UTC)
*huggles back, gives back uneaten (as of yet) chocolate*

Thank you hon!! I sometimes forget all the perks of the single life. Guess what got me all depressed this time was the way this guy broke it off... was like a slap in the face.

Mom said it's for the best - she didn't really like him and thought it was weird how he never called me on the phone (talked only through an email here and there...yeah I guess it is kinda weird).

The SoSG...heehee I love it!! I did finally hear back from the guy my mom's friend in GA knows... have no idea what is going to happen with this but until then I will bask in the glory of the SoSG *grin* :D

Thanks again!! *huggles again*
(Deleted comment)
jessm78: kissesjessm78 on November 9th, 2007 10:40 am (UTC)
Thanks!! *hugs Danny icon* :D

As I told Chris I sometimes forget about the perks of the single life. And was so fixated on the insulting way the guy broke it off with me.

Thanks again :)
tiah15tiah15 on November 7th, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)
*shoves even more chocolate at you* I don't eat it anyway :)
I'm another one of those "boyfriendless" people. My best friend has been married for a year with a child. The other has had her guy for nearly 4 years. I'm still single and alive. And happy :)
Like Chris said - I enjoy doing what I want and can't even imagine being in a relationship right now (OK, sometimes it would be nice, but I have such great friends - male and female alike - that I can wait).
Mr. Right will come along when the time is right for both of you. Don't let this guy get you down too much. Have a look at your con pics again :) You're not your parents anyway !
jessm78jessm78 on November 9th, 2007 10:43 am (UTC)
*happily munches chocolate*

Thanks for the support :) You and Chris and everyone else here are right... I need to look at the bright side more often. It is nice to do what you want when you want.

Hee hee... *looks at con pics again* I feel better now. :) Thanks again!
vixen_logic: EJHUGvixen_logic on November 7th, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
What the others said. :)

There are other fish in the sea and you're bound to catch one eventually. *g* No worries. ;) *HUG*
jessm78: being therejessm78 on November 9th, 2007 10:44 am (UTC)
Thanks for the hugs! *HUG back* Guess I was too upset over the way he broke it off with me. I've gotten over it though. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but there were a few strange things about this guy so I guess I am better off without him.
kellyecakellyeca on November 8th, 2007 08:49 pm (UTC)
Don't stress over it
I am not married either. It's okay!
jessm78jessm78 on November 9th, 2007 10:46 am (UTC)
Re: Don't stress over it
Thanks Kelly. :) I am feeling better now.
pygmymuse on November 14th, 2007 04:24 am (UTC)
If I had some 24 karat chocolate (it's good stuff, very nice & rich), I'd pass it along to you... Unfortunately, we're out, but have some virtual chocolate anyway...

Sounds like the guy was a jerk, and you are better off without him.

I know I've been kind of down myself over the same thing. My sister had her baby three months ago & my other sister (younger than me by four years) got a diamond promise ring from her boyfriend. A girl I used to work with is having her second child & my friend who got married last year wants to have a baby... I am still single, without any prospects... and it's hard not to get depressed.

Still...if it happens, it will be nice... In the meantime, I have fanfiction, I guess. Oh, and a cat. A big fat cat. Who just glared at me.

Still, glad you're feeling better about this... Don't let the jerks ruin your day... I know it isn't easy, but you have us. *hugs*
jessm78jessm78 on November 14th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC)
Wow, that does sound good... I'll have to be on the lookout for it. In the meantime, virtual chocolate is just as good. :)

Especially right now... I'm PMSing and not only have huge chocolate cravings but also those moods where everything bothers me more than it usually does, and the silliest things upset me. Makes you feel like you have a lifetime pass on the mood roller coaster sometimes. :P

I'm trying to get my mind off it by writing, though... I was able to write more of that second chapter of Sam-whumpage fic... Have about 3-4 pages now, probably need more for it to be a decent sized chapter. But I have made progress, so that makes me a little happy.

Anyway... Yeah, he did turn out to be a real jerk. I don't need anyone like him.

I don't blame you... One of my good friends from college got married last summer. An old friend of mine who is about 3 years younger than me (I've known her since she was a baby) has been in a serious relationship for almost two years, and her younger sister (who is about 23) is getting married next summer. Whenever they talk about how great things are for them in their relationships I am happy for them, but I just can't help feeling bitter myself.

I guess we both just have bad luck. It is nice to remember the creature comforts I have... fanfiction, a fat dog...who is a grouchy old lady much of the time.

Thanks. :) And you're right...where would I be without my friends? I don't even want to think about it. *hugs back*
(Deleted comment)
jessm78: being therejessm78 on November 24th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks hon :) I really appreciate the kind thoughts and words. Yeah, I don't know what is up with all the creeps. Even the guy I was supposed to meet last weekend seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth. He told me he would email me this week, haven't heard a peep. Maybe he got abducted by the Asgard and Loki is back to his old tricks again... (heh, sorry, I'm in the middle of reading the SG-1 novel "Roswell.")

Yeah, when I think about it now it does seem like it was for the best. My mother said the same thing, that he sounds like a real creep. She thought he was probably already dating or even married (don't think I'd go that far, but then again I am a bit too naive sometimes).

Aw, I really enjoyed that vid!! How cool! I loved the interaction between the 2 Doctors. The PD Doctor reacting to how hyper the DT one is... LOL. That was great. It really cheered me up, thanks!

P.S. LOL... I think you're right. I was telling a friend the other day, "if only Daniel Jackson was a real person!" But if you're insane for doing that, then I guess I'm completely stir crazy, heh... It can be really tough to avoid. ;)