Title: Angels Know the Rest
Summary: A look into newly formed and re-formed friendships taking place during and immediately after the return trip to Abydos. Missing scene fic for Children of the Gods.
Subjects: Friendship, Angst, Hurt/Comfort and just a pinch of UST
Spoilers: Stargate movie, Children of the Gods
Author's Note: Thanks so much to roonie81 for the beta and title suggestion! *hugs*
I hide myself within my flower,
That wearing on your breast,
You, unsuspecting, wear me too—
And angels know the rest.
I hide myself within my flower,
That, fading from your vase,
You, unsuspecting, feel for me
Almost a loneliness.
Squinting and wrinkling his nose at the glare from the bright Abydonian sunlight, Jack winced inwardly. He couldn't say he missed the old place. And he certainly didn't miss that trip through the wormhole. His insides felt like they'd been placed in a blender. Oh, yeah, and there was that layer of frost coating his skin due to ... whatever it was the egghead physicists had mentioned. He didn't pay enough attention the first time. But it was something he still hated.
None of that seemed to matter, however, as soon as he caught sight of Skaara along with those other terrific kids he'd left behind. Oh, yeah, and that geek, Doctor Daniel Jackson. 'Geek' being a term of endearment, of course. He couldn't forget what the guy had done for him and his team back on that first mission.
Guy seems to have done well for himself, Jack thought after Jackson's wife joined them and accompanied them to dinner. Quite well. That had been some kiss she planted on him before they'd left just minutes ago.
And was that jealousy he'd seen on Doctor – excuse me, Captain - Carter's face? No, couldn't be. She was probably still sick from the trip via Wormhole Express. Although, the way she acted as she introduced herself to him ... it was as if the guy was some kind of celebrity to her. Jack failed to bite back a chuckle.
A chuckle that apparently caught Daniel's attention. Turning, he found the younger man gazing at him curiously.
“Nothing,” Jack muttered in reply, still attempting to avoid the glare from those godawful suns as he shook his head dismissively.
Daniel nodded. “So.”
Jack turned to him again. “So.”
“Dweeb, huh?” Daniel flashed a grin that seemed teasing in nature.
Jack blinked. “Beg your pardon?”
“You think I'm a dweeb?”
All Jack could do was fix him with a look of confusion. Maybe the intense heat was playing havoc on his brain.
“Skaara,” Daniel elaborated.
What was he...? Jack suddenly felt a nasty twitch of embarrassment at the memory of their first mission. In search of Daniel, he'd asked Skaara and the other boys if they'd seen him. 'Does the word 'dweeb' mean anything to you?'
Oh, for crying out loud.
He found Daniel gazing intently at him, as if expecting acknowledgment and then contrition. Instead, Jack played dumb. “Y'know, Daniel, you shouldn't bring this up now. Poor kid's not here to defend himself.”
The robe-clad archaeologist rolled his eyes and then grinned. “They liked hearing tales about life back on Earth. One day, not long after you guys had left, I was talking about some of the people I knew back there. I mentioned your name in passing.” He stopped to chuckle. “Skaara, his eyes just lit up and he blurted out, 'dweeb'!”
That little revelation took Jack by surprise. “Oh, this changes things. He was calling me a dweeb?”
Daniel laughed. “As funny as it would have been, no. It came out that you'd used it to refer to me.”
Jack thought he saw a small amount of indignation in the younger man's expression, but whether it was real or Daniel was playing, he didn't know. All he could do was shrug. “Sorry.”
Daniel shook his head. “Oh ... no. It's fine.”
“Come on, time was short. I had to find you before Ra ... you know.” He glanced uncomfortably at Daniel.. “I was just going on first impressions. I didn't necessarily mean it as an insult.”
Oh, that kid was grinning wickedly. “I wouldn't have expected anything different from you, Jack.” Daniel paused, his grin fading as he shook his head once more. “It's okay. I'm used to it.”
Jack still felt the need to elaborate. “Look, while I found you to be a pain in the ass at first ...” He stopped as he caught Daniel gazing at him with wide, almost hurt, eyes. “Ah!” he exclaimed, holding up a finger. “At first. You saved my life. I was ready to blow myself up right along with that damned bomb. I didn't think my life had any more purpose. You proved me wrong.” Lowering his voice, he avoided Daniel's gaze. Damn, it was hard to pour his heart out like this. “You saved my life and the life of my men. That makes you an okay guy in my book.” Smiling, he clapped Daniel on the back.
Daniel didn't seem to expect this, but he smiled nonetheless before ducking his head shyly.
Jack suddenly remembered something. “Speaking of bombs, Hammond – the new commander of the facility – was all set to send one through before we came here.”
Daniel's eyebrows shot up. “What?”
“I wouldn't allow it,” Jack continued, trying to bite back any leftover anger regarding the general's abandoned decision. “I could see his point of view - those aliens killed several of our men and kidnapped one. But no one here deserves to die. Not you, not Skaara, not Sha're, or anyone else. There is no way I'd let that happen.” He met Daniel's gaze with strong resolve.
The other man seemed to digest this information for a fleeting moment and then just stared at him. “Thank you,” he finally uttered quietly.
Jack managed a ghost of a smile. Slightly uncomfortable once again with the sharing of feelings, he turned to find Captain Carter trudging behind them, appearing as if she'd zoned out. Then again, Kawalsky sounded like he was giving her a play-by-play of the latest football game. The captain didn't look like someone who appreciated sports much.
Adjusting his sunglasses, Jack squinted once more in the bright glare. What was it, high noon here on Abydos? He hoped they'd reach those tunnels soon ...
“Definitely the archaeological find of the century,” Captain Samantha Carter murmured, gazing with awe at the cartouche Dr. Jackson had discovered in these chambers. The concept of intergalactic travel via an unstable vortex of matter was incredible enough. The possibility that this technology reached beyond the planet of Abydos, possibly to countless other planets throughout the entire galaxy ... it was almost too much for her to take in.
She had found that same excitement in Dr. Jackson's voice as he spoke passionately about his discovery. Remembering their earlier conversation, she felt a slight grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. They seemed to be on the same page, and had pretty much confused the hell out of Colonel O'Neill and Major Kawalsky.
Turning, she realized both men were absent from the room. They'd since retreated to the entrance of the chamber, leaving the two scientists to study the cartouche further. She soon found her gaze lingering on Dr. Jackson, who appeared to be fingering the symbols on the cartouche with great reverence. She'd overheard the conversation between him and Colonel O'Neill on the way here and had gained a greater respect for the archaeologist.
The fellow scientist turned, seeming a bit put out on being pulled away from his reverie at first. “Captain Doctor?” His features softened. “Please, call me 'Daniel.'”
Sam managed a slight smile. “Okay, Daniel, but only if you'll call me 'Sam' ...” She briefly lowered her head, a bit unsure of how to start. “I don't think you're a dweeb.”
“W-what?” He looked almost endearing when caught by surprise.
“I guess it doesn't mean much coming from a fellow scientist.” Sam gave a small shrug. “But I never found you to be a dweeb, even while I was reading up about you at the Pentagon.”
Daniel ducked his head, and she thought she heard him mumble, “That's very nice of you.”
“Really, I thought you were brilliant. The way you figured out how to work the Stargate in a mere matter of weeks, while my team spent several years running dozens of permutations for ...” She cut herself off, deciding it no longer mattered, especially compared to what she was about to say. “I overheard what the colonel told you on the way here. It's amazing what you'd done for them, for all those people.”
She found Daniel avoiding her gaze and suddenly felt embarrassed for making him so uncomfortable. “Please don't act like I'm some big hero,” he replied softly. “Because I'm not. I can't ever look at myself that way, so I wish others wouldn't either.”
Locking eyes with him, Sam wondered if it was possible to have too much admiration for the man. “Okay, if you say so. But my opinion of you just went up another notch.” She noted the way his cheeks flushed and mentally kicked herself for saying too much. “I-I'm sorry. I must sound like some silly, obsessive fangirl.”
She watched Daniel's eyebrows lift a notch, nearly disappearing into his bangs before a boyish grin lit up his features. “No, no, that's all right.” There was a hint of amusement in his tone. “To be honest, I appreciate that you find my work so interesting. Not many people do.”
She knew that feeling well, and told him so as the two finally exited the room upon hearing the colonel's request to move out. The walk back to the pyramid was mired in silence, but she couldn't help glancing at Daniel and trying to bite back the great feelings of admiration and empathy she'd gained for the man.
Sam paced restlessly down the corridors of the SGC. Where again was that mess hall? She was in dire need of coffee. Not that drinking the stuff so often had to be good for her, especially when coupled with the mere few hours of sleep she'd gotten last night. But she couldn't help it – there'd been so much excitement over the past couple of days, it seemed that hardly anyone was thinking serously about sleep.
Excitement. Now there's an understatement. Before they'd returned from the tunnels, hostile aliens had come through the Stargate. Not only did they brutally attack Major Feretti and the Abydonians, but they also kidnapped the boy Colonel O'Neill had befriended as well as Dr. Jackson's - Daniel's - wife.
Speaking of Daniel ... Sam wondered how he was holding up. She hadn't seen much of him since yesterday when they arrived back. She'd heard Colonel O'Neill had taken him in, provided him with food, clothing, and most likely some much needed moral support. Not that Sam didn't expect it. Out of everyone here, Daniel had known the colonel the longest and the two seemed to be good friends. But she now considered Daniel a friend as well and wished there was something she could do to help.
While her mind wandered, her feet took over and as luck would have it she found herself right in front of the mess hall, the aroma of morning coffee still heady in the air at 0830. That aroma was calling out to her. She decided to put aside all the thoughts weighing heavily on her mind. Until ...
Not watching where she was going, she nearly bumped shoulders with someone exiting the room. “Oh, sorry,” she blurted out, flustered.
“It's okay,” the other person returned quietly. Risking a glance she found Daniel holding two cups of coffee and appearing a bit lost in thought.
She offered a small smile. “Hi, Daniel.”
The other scientist nodded and gave her a shy, “Hi” himself.
“Can I take something for you?”
Daniel shook his head. “No, it's okay.”
He looked like he was in a bit of a hurry, but Sam decided she'd risk a bit of conversation. “Is that second cup for the colonel?”
“Ah .. no, it's for me. They're both for me,” he replied, sounding a bit awkward.
Taking in his features – the worn, tired eyes and the slightly mussed hair – she realized what hell he must be going through. “Have you slept at all since we got back?”
She didn't receive an answer. Daniel simply lowered his head, avoiding her gaze.
For a moment she stared at him, feeling her heart ache in empathy. Right now, she wished she could just pull him into a hug. How would that look, though, after they'd only been friends a very short time? Instead, she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. “We'll find her, Daniel.”
Her gesture didn't provoke much reaction from Daniel, except a quick, cursory glance at her hand where it rested on his shoulder. She hated to see him hurting like this. “My own father is a general in the Air Force. There have been plenty of times when I worried something could happen to him. And ...” She briefly trailed off, a painful memory suddenly dredging up from deep within.
>Cobalt blue eyes that radiated warmth and love.
A smile that could light up a room with its exuberance.
Shoulder length curls in a rich blonde color, always smelling of sunshine and lavender.
“And I know what it's like to lose someone you love.”
She finally got Daniel to look at her and, for a brief moment, she locked eyes with him. Losing the grip on her composure, she tore her gaze away from him and bit her lip. She just couldn't say anymore. Perhaps she had said too much. “I have to go.”
Daniel looked as if he wanted her to elaborate. “Sam?” he asked quietly.>
Those bright blue eyes didn't budge one inch from her face. Damn, he was making this difficult for her. After all these years, she thought she had effectively buried this memory, but here it was, boiling to the surface, and still hurting like hell. She bit her lip again. “No, it's okay. I'll let you get some sleep now.” She gestured to the door of one of the guest quarters, where she assumed Daniel would sleep when they were on base.
Trying to ignore the pleading look in Daniel's eyes, Sam hurried down the corridor. Having gotten a safe distance away, she slowed her gait. She wished she didn't have to hurry away like this. She wished she could have stayed with Daniel and tried to offer him more comfort. But, no, she'd reached a limit: the limit before her emotions could reach critical mass and come crashing down on her, making her seem like a weak fool instead of the strong, upstanding military officer she was supposed to be.
Was she that afraid Daniel would somehow cause her to reveal that side of herself? The weaker, more vulnerable, it's-okay-to-cry-sometimes side she tried to banish more times than was probably healthy?
She couldn't give it a second thought; she didn't want to at the moment. Perhaps she'd eventually work up the courage to open up more to Daniel, to share her grief with a new friend. But that was for another day.