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19 May 2015 @ 03:23 pm
I have a weird dilemma...  
I have this friend online whom I've known for 14 years now. She and I met through another fandom back then when most people were in Yahoo clubs or groups (remember those?? lol). She was from Indiana and I'm in NY of course. We emailed back and forth a lot and became good friends. A few times she'd drop off the radar for a little while, but then she'd reappear and we'd go back to talking like old times. The past few years, I haven't heard from her as much, but we do still chat occasionally and we're Facebook friends.

Around last Christmas, she sent me a package of books she said she'd lend to me to read. They were mostly Doctor Who novels. I told her I'd be as quick with them as possible and she told me not to worry about it. She gave me her address so I could send them back to her (she's moved around a bit and is supposedly in Arizona now... I say "supposedly" because... well, I'll get to that). It took a bit longer than I'd hoped because, let's face it, there were 5 books in total and I had a lot going on with the family crises and all that. I finished them back in March and because I hadn't heard from her since New Year's, I sent her another email just double-checking that I had her snail mail address correct so I could send the books back to her.

She never replied. I even sent her a message on Facebook and didn't hear back. I checked her Facebook page again and it said something about her being in the UK. A few weeks ago I tried again and still no reply. Looking at her Facebook page now, the last time she posted something there was on March 1st. Since then, people have shared stuff on her timeline and she never commented or "liked" it, even things like birthday greetings.

I'm nearly at a total loss here. I don't want it to look like I'm keeping her books, but I have no idea how to get in contact with her. I was once in a conversation with her and another friend of hers on Facebook. This friend would probably remember me so I guess I could ask her if she's seen or heard from her at all. I've no idea what's happened to this girl. I hope she's not dead (terrible thing to say, I know, but it's weird how she seemed to suddenly dropped off the radar).

If you were in this situation, what would you do?
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Lady Moon-Loona-cyjennytork on May 19th, 2015 05:10 pm (UTC)
Contact the mutual friend with what you have told us here.

That's what I would do in your situation.
jessm78jessm78 on May 20th, 2015 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice. I did contact her yesterday. I didn't hear back, but I suddenly got an email from that friend a few minutes ago out of the blue. She apologized for not getting back to me and it turns out she's moving in a few weeks. She gave me her temporary address to send back the books.

No idea why she never responded before, but maybe she was really busy with a lot of things. I'm just glad to hear from her again so I can get the books back to her.
Wynefredwynefred on May 19th, 2015 05:27 pm (UTC)
Definitely hang on to the books until you're sure where to send them. And yeah, contact the mutual friend. Your friend should understand and might even appreciate the lengths you go to in order to track her down. Good luck!!
jessm78: Jensen Ackles: You Rock from CC'10jessm78 on May 20th, 2015 04:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice, hon. :) I did contact the mutual friend yesterday. Never heard back, but wouldn't you know it, my friend suddenly sent me an email just before. She apologized for not replying earlier and gave me an address to send her books back (she told me she's moving in a few weeks). Guess she's been really busy this whole time, but I'm glad I finally heard back from her.
tiah15: finding nemotiah15 on May 19th, 2015 06:14 pm (UTC)
Hi :D

From a person who dropped off lj for nearly four months: you do not need to die for that :)

But yeah, just contact the friend and tell her about the books and if she heard from her or knows how to contact her. But don't feel badly about keeping the books for now. If she wants them back, she has a way to contact you online, since you haven't dropped off Facebook I assume.
jessm78: Stargate: AT and MS sooo funnyjessm78 on May 20th, 2015 04:15 pm (UTC)
Hey! :)

LOL, I guess I should have indicated that I wasn't being totally serious there. ;) But you're right.

I did contact the friend and didn't hear back, but my friend just sent me an email a little while ago. She apologized for not emailing me earlier. She's moving in a few weeks, but she gave me an address to which I can send the books. I guess she was really busy these past few months, but I'm glad I heard from her so I can get her books back to her.
tiah15: minion flummytiah15 on May 21st, 2015 06:56 pm (UTC)
Only for me :P

See, it all worked out then :)
jessm78: Stargate: groovy S/D in 1969jessm78 on May 22nd, 2015 10:11 am (UTC)
Aw, no it's just me. :)

Yeah, I'm so glad. I wasn't expecting it to, at least not so quickly. Once almost 10 years ago she stopped talking to me out of nowhere. She took me off her friend's list on Myspace and then she never answered my emails. Then 5 months later I suddenly got a letter from her. She apologized for her behavior and said she was going through a lot and did some stupid things. I just thought she didn't want to be friends anymore and couldn't figure out what I had done to upset her, so it was nice to hear from her and find out it wasn't me.
deej1957deej1957 on May 19th, 2015 07:28 pm (UTC)
What they said. You might also post to her facebook page with something like: I've finished the books, thanks! Please email me so I know where to return them!
jessm78: Long Pondjessm78 on May 20th, 2015 04:17 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the advice. :) I contacted the friend and never heard back. I was thinking about making that post to her Facebook like you said, but I just now received an email from her finally. She apologized for not getting back to me and it sounds like she's been really busy. She's moving in a few weeks, but she gave me an address to which I can send the books. I'm just glad I'll be able to send them back to her.