jessm78 (jessm78) wrote,
jessm78
jessm78

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I hate PMS...

... I really hate it. There is a history of it in my family...my mom used to have it so I guess it's only natural that I'd have it too. Almost this whole weekend I've had these mood swings, and they're really bad today. This morning I was depressed, almost in tears, then I felt better as the day went on. Now I'm a blubbering mess. Things are bothering me more than they normally would and I'm a lot more sensitive.

That whole to-do I posted about in the previous entry, about MS "dissing" the S/D ship... it turns out that he doesn't want Daniel paired with anyone, so he was pretty much "dissing" all the ships. Someone at the Daniel/MS thread at GW told me that. People were understanding and nice and we ended the discussion. I felt better.

This evening someone decided to resurrect the discussion and says to me that I really gotta let a few things slide, that there is a S/D shipper thread for this type of discussion so could I please leave it in there. She says that this thread is about DANIEL and MICHAEL sometimes with others, mostly without.

I saw that post and my mood went totally south. First of all, I thought it was sort of related because they were talking about MS at the con. I posted what I thought he said. So what if it's about my ship? People post stuff about D/V ship there from time to time, as well as Jack/Daniel. They don't get told to leave that stuff in their respective threads. I did reply to this person, my fingers going a mile a minute on the keyboard and trying to retain my composure. I probably sounded like an idiot in what I said, but basically said that it sounds as if she hates me and I don't really feel welcome there anymore, that maybe I should leave.

Honestly, maybe it is me. Maybe I am an idiot for posting such things over there. Maybe I should cool down and not be so emotional, but it's so hard to do that at the moment. I am literally in tears right now, because I am so darned sensitive at this time and I hate thinking that someone hates me and thinks there's something wrong with me.

I should really end this and go to bed, but I can't sleep now. I'd hate to leave that thread because I met some nice people there and I'd miss them, but I'd hate to go there knowing that there will be someone who hates me and would probably lash out at me or give me tons of neg rep for even posting something totally benign like a picture of Daniel/Michael.

Thanks for listening to my rambling mess here... I wish these mood swings would ease up soon... gee I really hate PMS...
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